In a break from my normal tradition, this blog post will be a 2 or maybe a 3 parter and it’s a bit longer than normals too. They’ve been inspired by recent personal incidents and some cases I’ve been working on. One of which was the most tricky frustration case I ever had!

I’m going to write about things that have been happening as they’ve really made me aware of how frustration affects MY behaviour as well as that of my dogs, and this will form this first part. The second part will be focused on a couple of the cases, as I work a lot with these types and you may find them relatable or interesting. Before you read on though, explicit content warning, I swear a bit IRL and this is my story.

HUMAN FRUSTRATIONS

A few weeks ago, I was out walking Ren and Hattie Happypants in the local area and they’d just had a poo which they tend to do fairly early into the walk. I had headphones in as I often listen to music or podcasts while walking them but not at deafening levels. They were both on lead and I was midway through picking up their poop when suddenly Hattie lunges behind me growling, causing the knock on effect of Ren reacting to this and lunging with her then redirecting her arousal onto Hattie.

Of course I hadn’t expected this and was taken by surprise and a bit concerned at this unusual reaction from Hattie. It was, I should add, her frustration growl that she makes when she can’t access a dog or person (more on this later). I stand up and look behind me to see what they are responding to a man was stood behind us, staring with his dog, who was also staring both frowning.

Here’s the thing, I was bent over…was the man staring at my ass or had he stopped to be polite (it was an open area he would have seen me in any direction of approach), or had his dog stopped momentarily? Who knows because I in that time had leads twisted around my wrists causing the contents of my poo bag to fly everywhere, I was in a moment of shock at this response from my dogs and a bit pissed off at the whole situation frankly so I was like WTF and the man wandered off with his dog still eyeballing mine who were still lunging and growling.

I didn’t have my humour hat on, I had a stressed hat on and from that didn’t make a good choice. I feel bad for the man, he may not have understood that staring at someone and their dogs in a confined and vulnerable situation can pose a threat to them. I also feel bad as I redirected that frustration on my dogs, by shouting WTF at them.

As I continued the walk, I put my dog trainer hat on and made sure they had a fun time the rest of our walk to ensure the silver lining effect (good follows bad) did it’s job. As we were walking along I remembered we had been ambushed a couple of days previously in a similar situation by an off lead dog and his owner, which I talked about in a previous blog article, the dog and woman had stopped and stared at me then the dogs and caused a bit of stressful situation. Perhaps this was connected to what occurred. Had Hattie remembered this, and become frustrated it happened again?

Bearing in mind, this year has been extra stressful, house move, pandemic, money worries all that sort of stuff.

I reckon the pandemic has changed my behaviour to an extent, I know I’m more suspicious of people and have been dealing with my dogs’ frustrations at not being able to access people and dogs like they used to before lockdown. Relationship issues and worrying about my son who lives in Scotland and worries over our jobs and dealing with what I have judged to be inconsiderate people not adhering to social distancing rules and making me feel threatened, has all added up to me feeling frustrated and anxious. And I am rude when I feel like this. As in sweary shouty Katie happens! I get all hot and bothered and then can’t think straight. Our dogs probably feel exactly the same!

CANINE FRUSTRATIONS

Our Hattie Happypants came from a household that had a lot of animals and people in it, she is used to living with and meeting and greeting dogs, goats, chickens, cats, sheep, horses, people…and she actively seeks to do so, the tart. So lockdown caused her some frustrations. Ren too, she is also friendly to everything but often chooses to just observe unless she gets aroused by Hattie’s behaviours in context. Ren can, in times of acute arousal, redirect onto Hattie which to the outsider, looks awful!

And I don’t blame them for judging us, it’s only human after all. Having said that Ren loves a good chase game and gets super turned on by seeing excitable dogs, even more so when those dogs are off lead and chasing a ball…you know how lots of people use the ball flinger things? Hey I’ve used them too, we all do shit we ain’t proud of. Ren loves a game of chase with willing chase partners so those we comes across she is more than willing to not ignore the dog and enjoy her play high. Hattie likes a good ol’ romp around with dogs too but not at the breakneck speed of Ren and if a dog says times up, she is good at reading that, as is Ren. Neither of them seem to enjoy being stared by a dog while they are stationary and on lead though.

There have a been a few times recently where Hattie has acted with what looks like to the unknowing eye, aggression. She leaps or lunges forwards, ears pricked, growling, even her hackles up. But the difference is she has her goofy face on. And I’d say with 99% certainty she wouldn’t intentionally harm someone or something. In those times there has been a barrier of one form or another, be it a lead or a gate or fence. And honestly I get why people have looked at us like we are all assholes. In fact I even said this to a woman the other day, who had stopped to wait while I was washing my hands after putting poo in a poo bin. My two clocked the dog watching behind us and Hattie started her growling and leaping, Ren meanwhile was also pulling towards them but nothing to highly charged.

The one I was pissed off more at was a lady who must live near me somewhere as we see her regularly up and down our road…her dog has been known to growl at my two on occasion, so of course me and the lady just cross the road or wait behind the gate or whatever. I’d seen her quite some distance behind on a walk a couple weeks ago, mine were off lead, playing our games together, enjoying the walk. I’d put them back on lead as we got close to the road and the narrow bridge crossing the Trym to get to the opposite side and lo and behold as I’m bent over picking up her poo, Hats started lunging and growling, swiftly joined with Ren who redirected on her, and I looked behind me to see what was up and there’s the lady and the dog watching me pick up the poo. She apologised and then moved away meanwhile there is literal shit flying, leads twisting and I’m like guys WHAT THE FUCK!

OPERATION RETHINK

So this might affect my reputation, I don’t want to be known as the pissy lady with the pissy dogs who pretends she’s a behaviourist! But more importantly, we, the dogs and I need our mental health in a good place in already charged time of life. I had to think and think fast about how I can help them and me. I can’t change who I am or them, but I can change my behaviour to change theirs.

Here’s what I’ve started doing and so far, so good…

Before I scoop the poop, I check out who and what is around me. If it’s clear, fab I’ll crack on a pick up move on, no drama. If someone is around, dog or not, I pop the leads around my waist (they’re double ended ones so easy to clip and loop around whilst still attached to their harnesses). I’ll scatter a bunch of goodies on the ground for them to munch on, scoop, and move on ideally before the person gets too close. There have been one or two that have been given the Katie stare for daring to approach while my ass is in the air, the rest get thanked sweetly.

And I’m working on similar for the front garden where Hats sees dogs going by and gets frustrated if she can’t access them. I’ll explain more about frustration itself in part 2. They use the front garden when I’m on the phone with a client or adopter, because the back garden has a lot of treefall which has made Hattie vomit before from too much foraging on it and also is where the previous tenants had left their fenced in rubbish that I talked about earlier. Anyone wanna start a Go Fund Me to help me out? I’m only half kidding by the way…

So while I can’t pro-actively supervise them they can toilet out the front, rather the full on supervision needed out back until I can afford to fix up the garden and get the rubbish removed, trees felled and fencing replaced. Is what it is for now although it’s another frustration layer for me. So “what’s this?” is my current go to to help them both out when in the front garden and I do, if needed explain to whomever I’m on a call with as to what I’m doing.

WHAT IS WHAT’S THIS?

I wrote about this in a previous blog post, click HERE to read it, but basically it’s an attention game. When you don’t have their attention and need it under mild to moderate frustration, gaining it involuntarily i.e. asking them to pay you attention can help them out of a situation in all sorts of contexts, like a multi purpose tool. It’s how I’ve got my dogs turned on anything I offer them, be it celery or spinach stalks or kitchen towel or whatever. There’s more to this and frustration, but in the meantime I’m going to forgive myself for being human, my dogs for being dogs and the world for being the world cos otherwise I lay awake at night worrying.

And finally…

If you do come across either my bum in the air or someone else’s, try to avoid stopping and staring, and retrace your steps a bit or hang back even further until pooped is picked and dogs are safely on their way. My bum is nice yes, but it’s mine not yours.

Do you have a frustration related story? What worked for you and you dog?

If you liked this, tell me, hit subscribe and share with all your mates!